Behaviour is the part of a report parents read most closely and the part teachers dread writing. Be too blunt and you start a difficult conversation by letter. Be too soft and a parent is blindsided when the issue comes up at parents' evening, or when it follows their child to secondary school.
The aim is a comment that is honest, specific and forward-looking. A parent should finish it knowing what you have seen, what you are doing about it, and how they can help.
Describe what you see, not who the child is
“He is disruptive” is a judgement about the child. “He calls out during carpet sessions, which makes it hard for others to finish their thinking” describes a behaviour that can change. Parents can accept the second. The first sounds like a label that will stick.
Three habits make this easier:
- Name the situation. Behaviour is rarely constant. “Unstructured times” or “when work feels hard” tells the parent far more than “often”.
- Say what it affects. Link the behaviour to learning or friendships, not to your own frustration.
- Say what is working. If a seating change, a job or a sticker chart has helped, put it in. It shows you are solving the problem with the child, not just recording it.
Lead with something true and positive
Do not invent praise to soften the message. Find the real strength and use it as the way in: “Sam has a great sense of humour and the other children enjoy his company. We are working on choosing the right moment to use it.”
Phrases for common situations
Calling out and difficulty waiting
- “She is full of ideas and keen to share them. We are practising waiting for her turn, and she is getting better at using her whiteboard to hold on to a thought.”
- “He answers quickly and often correctly. His next step is leaving space for others to think.”
Low-level disruption and distraction
- “He can be distracted by those sitting near him, so we have changed his seat. Since then he has finished more work in lessons.”
- “She works best when the task is clear and short. When it is open-ended she sometimes drifts, and we are breaking tasks into smaller steps.”
Friendship difficulties
- “Friendships are still developing, and she can find it hard when games do not go her way. We are helping her to use calm words and ask an adult for help.”
- “He is kind one-to-one but finds larger groups overwhelming. We are building up gradually with small, structured partnerships.”
Effort and attitude
- “She gives up quickly when work feels tricky. We are praising effort and strategies rather than answers, and it would help to do the same at home.”
- “He is capable of far more than he currently shows. When he commits to a task, the quality is excellent.”
Real progress
- “This term has been a real turning point. He has had far fewer reminders and is proud of it, and so are we.”
What to do before the report goes home
If a concern is serious or long-standing, the report should not be the first time parents hear it. A short phone call or note earlier in the term means the written comment confirms what they already know. Check your school's behaviour policy for how this should be recorded, and keep wording consistent with what colleagues and the SENCO have shared.
If a child's behaviour may relate to an unmet need, such as communication, sensory or emotional difficulties, say that you are observing and working with the SENCO. Avoid guessing at a diagnosis in writing.
Keep notes through the term
The hardest behaviour comments are the ones written from memory in December or July. A line or two noted when something happens, with the date and the context, gives you the detail that makes a comment specific and fair.
Staffroom turns the notes you have already kept into a first draft. Behaviour comments stay specific, balanced and yours to edit. Try it free for 14 days.